With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.

Our natural inclinations are often wrong and ineffective, so very different from what God would intend for us. We eat when we are not hungry, rest when we should exercise, and procrastinate when we should finish the task. When it comes to the rightful power of persuasion in relationship with others, especially when the one who is to be persuaded is someone in authority, we may be surprised to hear that God states that it is not the forceful voice, but the one who waits patiently and speaks softly that wins the day.

The word “patience” (“orek” in Hebrew) has the sense of something long or lengthy, as in describing Noah’s ark (Genesis 6:15), or the land God was promising Abram (Genesis 13:17). But along with this sense of physical length is another dimension, measuring the forbearance of one who patiently advocates before an authority. This suggests that the one in authority has a different opinion, and the persuader forbears over a prolonged period for a change to be made.

People in authority, or “rulers” as our verse calls them, do not quickly change their opinions. It is the wise person who gently and respectfully applies influence on a decision over an extended period of time that may bring the greatest impact upon a needed change. One thinks of William Wilberforce who relentlessly advocated for two decades for the British government to pass a law prohibiting the transatlantic slave trade between Britain and the United States. Forbearance is certainly a necessary trait for those who would wisely represent God’s ways before the world today.

But there is a second tool mentioned, as equally persuasive—a “soft tongue.” Of course, we mean a gentle voice. And yet, how contrary that is from what normally takes place whenever confrontation rears its head! It is not boisterousness and bravado that wins the day with those in authority. Consider Joseph before Pharoah, or Daniel before the kings he served in Babylon. Great confidence was earned by these servants of God by speaking clearly and honestly, but always with a steady, respectful, and soft voice. And the great King Solomon wrote again of the power of a soft answer in Proverbs 15:1.

Of those who have led with forbearance and gentle words, Jesus stands most significantly among them all. We may think of the patience He endured with his disciples (particularly Peter). His words were gentle but spoken in ways that made others marvel. Soft words can hold much power, as our verse suggests. This was especially true as Jesus caused the crowd in the garden to stagger at the mere pronouncement of his identity.

“Soft-tongued” people do not make enemies like those who speak harshly. They do not crush the egos of others and trample the efforts of those with whom they work or live. The “bones” that are broken with a soft and respectful tongue are healed more quickly, earning trust from leaders who more readily see the wisdom of fresh ideas. As ambassadors of Christ, we have wisdom accessed from the Word of God and the model of Jesus. Our Savior used both His words and His silence as a lamb before shearers (Isaiah 53:7), crushing death under the weight of obedience to the Father. There is real power in the use and balance of forbearance and gentle words. We would be wise to use them that way for the sake of representing our Savior.

By Bill Niblette, Ph.D., Bible League International staff, Pennsylvania U.S.